In any case, from the 70's to 90's, it seemed like just about anyone or anything could have their own Saturday morning cartoon. However, that wasn't necessarily a good thing. There were cartoons where the subject matter was truly bizarre or that the purpose of the show really went over your head.
For my first, introductory list, I'll show you what I believe are the top ten cartoons that made you go, "What the fuck?"
1. The Gary Coleman Show (NBC, 1982-1983)
If you were born in the late 1970's or early 1980's, you definitely have seen Gary Coleman's mug all over the place. Thanks to his stardom on Diff'rent Strokes, Coleman raked it in big time and was making appearances left and right. So it was definitely logical for Coleman to get his own cartoon show in 1982; simply titled The Gary Coleman Show. Nothing out of the ordinary, right?
Well, by taking one good look at the show's plot, it feels like that time the myth has been debunked and you discovered Gary Coleman was really a 30-something year old black guy with a growth disorder. Man this show was awkward. Here we have Coleman playing the role of a guardian angel who helps children solve their problems and not get tricked by the devil who's called "Hornswaggle" (who eerily looks like a cross between a pimp and a child molester). I don't know a lot about Christian belief in regards to guardian angels, but there's just too many questions that come up if you were a kid like, "Is Gary Coleman really dead?" I think the most important question though is, "Do I really want Gary Coleman to be my guardian angel?" That's enough to make a person convert from Christianity to another religion for that very reason.
2. Captain N: The Game Master (NBC, 1989-1991)
For all my marketing people out there, you sure as hell know that a general rule of thumb in product placement is to use kids as your #1 target. But Nintendo took it a step further and made an entire Saturday morning cartoon one big product placement. Pretty much the sole reason Captain N: The Game Master existed is that Nintendo damn sure wanted all you kids out there buy a Nintendo Entertainment System and all the hottest NES games out there like Mega Man, Castlevania, and Tetris.
As a kid who ate, slept, and breathed video games, I made sure to tune in to Captain N every Saturday to see what radical adventures Captain N would be up to. However, as each episode went by, it became increasingly obvious the show's writers and animators never even picked up a video game controller in their lives. I knew Mega Man was blue, not green like he was in a show. Plus, I knew Simon Belmont was suppose to be a vampire-hunting bad ass like he was in Castlevania, not a flaming metrosexual who wore friggin' goggles. I guess you can't blame the writers if you got the vaguest of character descriptions from Nintendo and just ran with it. I think what really made the show suck is...well...it sucked.
3. The Partridge Family 2200 A.D. (CBS, 1974-1975)
It's a mixed bag for me when I think of William Hanna and Joseph Barbera. On one hand, they introduced one of the most memorable and beloved cartoon series of all time, The Flintstones, along with a long line of other great Hanna-Barbera cartoons. On the other hand, for most the 1970's and early 80's, it seems like Bill and Joe were on the "mary jane" and produced a crap load of cartoons that were really nuts (see: The Gary Coleman Show). Rather than making the entire list full of Hanna Barbera cartoons (maybe I'll save a "Top 10 Worst Hanna Barbera Cartoons List" for another day), I'll just cut to the chase and say The Partridge Family 2200 A.D. truly takes the cake.
Yes, you heard right. We're forced to believe that somehow record producers were able to create a serum to make the entire Partridge Family become ageless and continue to enslave the world with their singing in the year 2200. Hanna and Barbera sure seem to throw the whole "suspension of disbelief" out there with their cartoons. Interesting fact: Danny Bonaduce was a trooper and provided his voice for all 16 episodes. Too bad The Partridge Family 2200 A.D. probably accelerated the downward spiral for Bonaduce.
4. Rubix: The Amazing Cube (ABC, 1983-1984)
It's a cartoon about a Rubix's Cube folks; whoever decided that it was a good idea to make a show based off the world's most boring toy must have a sick sense of humor. Like I said, just about anything could get their own Saturday morning cartoon back in the day.
For reason, the cartoon went on to show that Hispanics alike loved playing with Rubix's Cubes because....well, I don't know. All I know is Spanish boy band Menudo are huge purveyors of Rubix's Cube.
5. The Get Along Gang (CBS, 1984)
These days, it's a certainly a ballsy move to have a cartoon featuring characters based from a line of greeting cards. While the American Greetings company had the right intentions in producing a Saturday morning cartoon - bunch of furry critters teaching moral standards that would make Mother Teresa blush - the one fatal flaw The Get Along Gang had with its show that it had too much of a Communistic overtone.
No, really, it's true. Don't be fooled by the cuteness of the talking furry animals discussing about sharing and cooperation. These are the type of critters your crazy Vietnam vet uncle would warn you about in taking over America. You see, if someone didn't get along in the gang...
OH SNAP SON, HOLD THE FUCK UP! STOP EVERYTHING!!! WE GOT SOMEONE WHO'S NOT WITH US!!!! SET THE INDEPENDENT THOUGHT ALARM!!!!!!
See what I mean? The Get Along Gang was quite anal if someone in the gang leered away from course. Montgomery "Good News" Moose? More like Montgomery "CHAIRMAN" Moose.
6. Gilligan's Planet - (CBS, 1982)
I'm sure the producers must've thought for this one, "By god! If the Partridge Family can go sci-fi, so can Gilligan!" Gilligan's Island is your classic case of beating the dead horse in television history. Having the Harlem Globetrotters visit the island wasn't enough, so it was time for Gilligan and the gang to travel in space in animated form. The biggest problem with Gilligan's Planet was this one aired in 1982 and most kids by then either A.) have no clue what Gilligan's Island was or B.) thought it royally sucked. Hell, I mean why would kids even bother with Gilligan's Island anymore when stuff like Transformers and G.I. Joe were beginning to plant their seeds?
It should be pointed out that there was another animated Gilligan's Island show before this, but at least it didn't piss off kids watching this.
7. Hammerman (ABC, 1991)
Stanley Burrell a.k.a. M.C. Hammer will forever always be the definition for "15 Minutes of Fame". After hitting it big time with his little-diddy, "U Can't Touch This", Hammer did what every artist does when they reached stardom; spend money like it was no tomorrow. Race horses, mansions, hot tubs, you name it. One of his endeavors was producing a Saturday morning cartoon featuring none other than himself. Just like Gary Coleman, it made sense for someone who reached fame of titantic proportions to get his own cartoon, but the show's plot was plain bad. Take this synopsis pulled from Wikipedia:
I think somewhere between the talking shoes and his transformation as Hammerman is when it became very clear Mr. Hammer needed to hire an accountant badly as he would lose his fortune at an alarming rate and the cartoon would be yanked off the air just like his "15 Minutes of Fame".
8. The Fantastic Four (NBC, 1978-1979)
Imagine to the dismay of all the young comic books when they tuned in to the first episode of The Fantastic Four cartoon in Fall of 1978 and saw The Human Torch nowhere in sight. Now add to the fact the coolest member of the Fab Four was replaced by a bastard retard robot (and is even considered an official member!) How Marvel Comics didn't save itself the trouble and pull the plug before this got to air is beyond me, but it goes to show that all it takes is one shitty character to bring down an entire show.
Is this the worst comic book cartoon ever? Hey, does a bear take a shit in the woods?
9. Yo! Yogi!! (NBC 1991-1992)
I'm all for classic characters getting with the times, but man, this one screams bloody murder with how the fashion and style were in the early 90's. I don't know if people in the future will look back to this generation and scoff at us, but Yo! Yogi!! went too overboard with the hippety and the hoppity of the glory known as early 1990's cheesiness. Hey, don't blame Hanna Barbera; it's pretty easy to get caught up with the GNARLY MAX-OUT RADICAL ZAP-A-DAP freshness of the mall.
10. Laverne & Shirley in the Army (ABC 1981)
I know Laverne & Shirley had its fair share of fans during its run, but was this really necessary? Did kids even like Laverne & Shirley at all??? There must've been a damn good reason why this was ever made, but I guess this show along with Gilligan's Planet was proof parents didn't pay attention to the kids in the early 80's and had no clue what they like.
Well there you have it, hope you liked my first stab in making a list. I'm hoping to make this a weekly update. Any criticism and suggestion is much appreciated. Danke!
I'm sure the producers must've thought for this one, "By god! If the Partridge Family can go sci-fi, so can Gilligan!" Gilligan's Island is your classic case of beating the dead horse in television history. Having the Harlem Globetrotters visit the island wasn't enough, so it was time for Gilligan and the gang to travel in space in animated form. The biggest problem with Gilligan's Planet was this one aired in 1982 and most kids by then either A.) have no clue what Gilligan's Island was or B.) thought it royally sucked. Hell, I mean why would kids even bother with Gilligan's Island anymore when stuff like Transformers and G.I. Joe were beginning to plant their seeds?
It should be pointed out that there was another animated Gilligan's Island show before this, but at least it didn't piss off kids watching this.
7. Hammerman (ABC, 1991)
Stanley Burrell a.k.a. M.C. Hammer will forever always be the definition for "15 Minutes of Fame". After hitting it big time with his little-diddy, "U Can't Touch This", Hammer did what every artist does when they reached stardom; spend money like it was no tomorrow. Race horses, mansions, hot tubs, you name it. One of his endeavors was producing a Saturday morning cartoon featuring none other than himself. Just like Gary Coleman, it made sense for someone who reached fame of titantic proportions to get his own cartoon, but the show's plot was plain bad. Take this synopsis pulled from Wikipedia:
Youth center worker Stanley Burrell (Hammer's real name) owns a pair of magical dancing shoes (which are alive and can speak), which when worn cause Burrell to transform into the superhero Hammerman. He frequently gets advice from his "Gramps", who was a former owner of the shoes and was known as Soulman. While in the guise of Hammerman, Burrell was dressed in MC Hammer's signature purple parachute pants and myriad golden chains.
The show was hosted by the real MC Hammer, who also sang the show's theme song, telling about the origin of Hammerman. Back in the 1960s and 1970s, Gramps (real name unrevealed) was the superhero Soulman, but as he grew older, he grew weaker and was forced to retire. Gramps and his granddaughter Jodie traveled to find the next new superhero. Their search was over when they met Stanley and he put on the shoes.
I think somewhere between the talking shoes and his transformation as Hammerman is when it became very clear Mr. Hammer needed to hire an accountant badly as he would lose his fortune at an alarming rate and the cartoon would be yanked off the air just like his "15 Minutes of Fame".
8. The Fantastic Four (NBC, 1978-1979)
Imagine to the dismay of all the young comic books when they tuned in to the first episode of The Fantastic Four cartoon in Fall of 1978 and saw The Human Torch nowhere in sight. Now add to the fact the coolest member of the Fab Four was replaced by a bastard retard robot (and is even considered an official member!) How Marvel Comics didn't save itself the trouble and pull the plug before this got to air is beyond me, but it goes to show that all it takes is one shitty character to bring down an entire show.
Is this the worst comic book cartoon ever? Hey, does a bear take a shit in the woods?
9. Yo! Yogi!! (NBC 1991-1992)
I'm all for classic characters getting with the times, but man, this one screams bloody murder with how the fashion and style were in the early 90's. I don't know if people in the future will look back to this generation and scoff at us, but Yo! Yogi!! went too overboard with the hippety and the hoppity of the glory known as early 1990's cheesiness. Hey, don't blame Hanna Barbera; it's pretty easy to get caught up with the GNARLY MAX-OUT RADICAL ZAP-A-DAP freshness of the mall.
10. Laverne & Shirley in the Army (ABC 1981)
I know Laverne & Shirley had its fair share of fans during its run, but was this really necessary? Did kids even like Laverne & Shirley at all??? There must've been a damn good reason why this was ever made, but I guess this show along with Gilligan's Planet was proof parents didn't pay attention to the kids in the early 80's and had no clue what they like.
Well there you have it, hope you liked my first stab in making a list. I'm hoping to make this a weekly update. Any criticism and suggestion is much appreciated. Danke!
I'd put "Popeye & Son" (Hanna-Barbera, 1987 on CBS) on the list as well. A conceptual disaster.
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