5 Reasons Grandpa Joe Is An Absolute Jerk In "Willy Wonka"

Disclaimer: I have not read Roald Dahl's classic novel of "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory".  But hey, I'm sure there's plenty of people who've seen movies without reading the book in the first place.  And to my understanding, this version of "Willy Wonka" is somewhat faithful to Dahl's novel.

Another Disclaimer: I have not seen Tim Burton's version of "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" nor do I have any intention in seeing Johnny Deep dressed up as Prince and Michael Jackson put into one.

Okay, so that's out of the way, let's dig right in and talk about the 1971 family favorite of "Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory".  In case if you need a refresher, the story involves a poor boy named Charlie Bucket who lives in the slums with his widowed mother and maternal and paternal grandparents who are "bedridden".  Charlie is the supposed breadwinner of the family as he makes his living being the town's paper boy.  Cutting to the chase, Chuck's dream is to find the Golden Ticket allowing him access to the infamous Willy Wonka Chocolate Factory which he eventually does along with four other spoiled brats who found the other four tickets.

But while the four brats - Veruca Salt, Augustus Gloop, Violet Beauregarde, and Mike Teevee - are suppose to be the annoying ones, there's one character that bugs the crap out of me...Grandpa Joe.

Oh sure; go ahead and feel for the old geezer.  Portrayed by character actor Jack Albertson, Grandpa Joe seems to be a warm, loving grandfather in the beginning despite the fact is (supposedly) bedridden.  But once Charlie finds his Golden Ticket, Grandpa Joe reveals his true identity as a complete asshole.  So here are the top five reasons Grandpa Joe is probably the most despicable character in "Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Family".


1. He Doesn't Give a Damn About His Family Except For Chocolate

"Holy shit, a lifetime supply of chocolate?  I'M CURED!"

So the whole family is ecstatic Charlie found the Golden Ticket and is happy for him.  Mom's proud, the grandparents are happy and cheering, and...what's this?  GRANDPA JOE CAN WALK!  MY GOD IT'S A MIRACLE!

Actually, no, wait.  It's not.  All this time Gramps could perfectly stand and walk on his two legs while we were under the impression the old man was just waiting for the Angel of Death while laying in bed for the rest of his life after laying in bed for 20 YEARS.  And he just doesn't walk around after being invited to the Chocolate Factory, he does a complete song and dance routine like he was Dick Van F'N Dyke. 

"I got a Golden Ticket, but piss off, that chocolate is mine!"

What really bothers me about all this is while Charlie is making minimum wage as a paperboy (with this being the 70's, we're talking like the 25 cent per hour range) and Ma Bucket does laundry or something for pennies, Grandpa Joe is really a lazy asshole who is definitely capable finding a job in town and make some decent money to support the family and not live like a third-world impoverished family.  Quite frankly, if I was there, I would have kicked the old bastard out of the house and tell him to go find a job and bring home some money.

In a sane world, the whole Bucket family would have been royally pissed off finding out that Grandpa Joe was faking his disability all along.  But I guess with all the hoopla that Charlie found the Golden Ticket and gets to go to Willy Wonka's factory, that thought sorta slipped their minds.


2. He Almost Gets His Grandson and Himself Killed and Has No Regrets

One reoccurring theme throughout "Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory" is that the kids would get themselves in trouble and face dire consequences for their actions.  But if you watch the movie, Charlie never really falls into temptation except for swiping some Everlasting Gobstoppers for Slugworth.  In the Bubble Room scene, it wasn't Charlie who was tempted to drink the "Fizzy Lifting Drink", but that old codger Grandpa Joe eggs him on to take a swig with him.  Gee Gramps; don't you know they teach Charlie and the kids in school to NOT succumb to peer pressure?

So anyway, up and away they go like "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" and float away with the bubbles like faeries.  It wouldn't take long for them to figure out they dun goof as a giant, rotating steel fan is at top of the chamber they're floating up in and there seemed like no way out of this predicament.  Then with pure, dumb luck, Grandpa Joe lets out a belch (doesn't even excuse himself that jerk!) and the floating effect reverses.  The two then burp all the way down in a display of bad manners and finally make it back to the ground.

So what does Grandpa Joe say after almost getting the two of them cut up into little pieces?  "C'mon Charlie, let's catch up with the others!"  No apologies, no regrets, no nothing.  This old bastard is determined to get that lifetime supply of chocolate even if it means life or death.

"Say anything to Wonka and I'll fucking shank ya."

3. He Shows No Concern Over the Welfare of Others; Especially Children

If he doesn't give a damn about his family, think we would have care and compassion for others?  Of course not!

Well, maybe the Oompa Loompas though...

At the beginning of the Chocolate Factory tour, it is made known that Grandpa Joe hates kids.  Granted that all of them were brats, notice how none of the other parents brutally berates them.  Props to Say No To Grandpa Joe for properly pointing out moments in the film where Joe shows his bitter side during the tour.  

This old bugger is quite unfazed seeing kids in situations where they'll likely meet their ultimate demise.  For example, when Violet is to the point she's going to explode her guts all over the place as a bursting blueberry, Grandpa Joe just stands there and mutters to himself she got what she deserved.  

He's particularly nasty with Veruca Salt.  Again, while she herself is a no-good, rotten brat, Grandpa Joe is the only one who shreds her to pieces by putting the verbal smack down on her.  When she and her dad fell down the shoot into the incinerator; he was gleeful those two were out of the equation.    

While you can argue Willy Wonka himself didn't show any sign of concern for the misbehaved kids, at least he knew for a fact that they'll be "completely restored to their normal, terrible old selves."  But not Joe Boy, he's just glad every other kid on the tour is presumably dead so he and Charlie can get all the chocolate.  

4. He's Somewhat of a Sexual Deviant

While it may not be so apparent as the others, there's some subliminal moments in the movie Grandpa Joe shows that he is a pervert.  In the scene where they get stuck in the "shrinking room" at the beginning of the tour, Mrs. Teevee screams "Somebody is touching me!"; implying somebody squeezed her ass or something.  As you can see in the image, she gives Gramps a dirty look as he knows the jig is up.   Thankfully, Grandpa Joe keeps his hands to himself for the rest of the tour.

Another subliminal scene takes place in the very beginning of the movie as you see the living arrangements in the Buckets' household.

Now if I didn't know any better, there's something wrong with this picture.  True that the place the Buckets live in is rather small.  But what is up with that bedding arrangement?  Here you have Charlie's maternal and paternal grandparents all cozy up like they're one big, really happy family.  C'mon people, just where the hell are those feet going to?!?  Lord knows what sick perverted games they play when Charlie and Ma Bucket are out of the house.  In case if you haven't figured it out, that's four people sharing one bed. 

Well, on the bright side, at least Grandpa Joe isn't a pedophile or anything like that....

....or maybe not...

5. He's a Filthy, Lying, and Hypocritical Bastard to Willy Wonka

As much as the movie wanted you to think that Slugworth was the main villain in "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory", the ending to the film shows that it was Grandpa Joe who's the real villain.

As Grandpa and Charlie are the last "survivors" of the factory tour, Grandpa Joe inquires about the lifetime supply of free chocolate, but Wonka gives them the cold shoulder and shows them the exit.  Infuriated, Gramps storms into Wonka's office to see what the hell is going on.  Of course Mr. Wonka ain't no fool as he tears Grandpa a new one in one of the most memorable lines in film history. 

 

That's right folks; Willy knew what those two were up to earlier on fooling around with that Fizzy Lifting Drink.  And I don't blame him for being pissed off at them.  I too would throw a hissy fit to learn that a dirty, old man like Grandpa Joe was smearing his hands all over my property.  Meanwhile, Gramps plays dumb and demands that they get their fair share of chocolate.  

The ultimate kicker to all this comes when Charlie and Grandpa Joe are about to leave the office and Grandpa says, "I'll get even with him if that's the last thing I'll do" and adds:

TIME. OUT.

Let us flashback to the beginning where Charlie asks Grandpa Joe about the whole deal with Willy Wonka's Factory and Mr. Slugworth.

 

As you can see here, Grandpa tells Charlie that Slugworth is a bad man who can't be trusted at all and wanted Wonka out of business.

Now let's fast-forward to the scene where the kids are about the get Wonka's "secret" candy: an Everlasting Gobstopper.  Wonka goes on to tell them that they can only have one each and not to tell anyone else about them as sharing this secret to Slugworth would put Wonka out of business.  As Wonka passes around the Gobstoppers, Veruca Salt wasn't so subtle in trying to be sneaky, but Grandpa Joe on the other hand....

See that?  Somewhere along in the confusion, Grandpa Joe picks up on what's going on and says Charlie never got a Gobstopper.  Clearly Gramps was in the whole scheme to steal the Everlasting Gobstopper and give it to Slugworth!  Well of course Charlie too, but I got a feeling Joe conned the poor kid in doing it like he did with the Fizzy Lifting Drink.  

Fortunately Charlie has a thing called a "conscience" which his grandfather doesn't have and returns the stolen candy to Wonka.  Wonka congratulates Charlie for being honest, says he won, reveals Slugworth was Wonka's assistant to test the kids' honesty, yada yada, and they all live happily ever after.

But what if Charlie didn't had a change of heart and tried to give the Everlasting Gobstopper to Wonka's assistant?  Tell 'em Willy:

  

In turn, this would have made Grandpa Joe the biggest asshole in the universe and Charlie to never trust that old geezer again.

So in closing, there's been plenty of memorable villains and scumbags in movie history that you love to hate.  You got The Joker, Wicked Witch of the West, Scut Farkus (A Christmas Story), Angel Eyes (Good, Bad, and the Ugly), Agent Smith (The Matrix), and many more.  But in moral perspective, Grandpa Joe takes the cake (or chocolate in this case).