Top 20 Worst Cover Songs EVER

We've all heard the phrase "spinning in his grave" when somebody does something to desecrate the very good name of said deceased persons. When it comes to the music industry however, the entire graveyard of dead musicians has turned into one gigantic tornado.

The problem with cover songs -- basically songs performed by artists as somewhat of a "tribute" to the original artist who performed it -- is that nothing is sacred when it comes to what songs are being covered. There's nothing wrong with being a musician and liking a fellow contemporary of yours. But, I wouldn't necessarily perform one of Mozart's masterpieces when you're in a pop-punk band (unless you're THAT damn good).

As you'll see, time and time again, musicians love to cover other musicians' music, but this list is proof that it's not consensual love at all with cover songs; it's straight up statutory rape.


20. "Welcome to the Jungle" - Zombie Apocalypse
Originally performed by: Guns 'n Roses

Sure, Zombie Apocalypse's cover of "Welcome to the Jungle" got the same recognizable opening used to kick things off at big events, but around the 30-second mark, it goes horribly wrong. Even for a regular metalcore track, it sure sucks. I just don't see myself opening the pit for this sloppy mess. I'm guessing Zombie Apocalypse wanted to put out something that's a reflection of Axl Rose these days.

Click here to hear the song


19. "Holy Diver" - Pat Boone
Originally performed by: Dio

Without a doubt, Pat Boone is the King of the Cover Songs. Boone made his living by covering songs by black R&B musicians back in the 1950's like Fats Domino, Little Richard, and The Flamingos. But it was rather odd that Boone -- a self-proclaimed Christian/Bible Belt nut -- would release a heavy metal covers album in 1997. Hell, matter of fact, why he even cover Dio's "Holy Diver" in which the album's art has the devil giving the smack down on a priest is beyond me.

The problem with Boone's covering of "Holy Diver" is that the old bastard is taking himself seriously. There's something very "un-metal" hearing Pat Boone croon pretty poorly to Dio's classic with a full swing band orchestra supporting him. It's like finding yourself in a nursing home and all the old fogies are going gaga over an old Jerry Lee Lewis covering Slayer's "Angel of Death".




18. "This Means War (Iron Man)" - Busta Rhymes feat. Ozzy Osbourne
Originally performed by: Black Sabbath

Partially a cover song, but its fully crap. Busta's "lovely" take of arguably the most influential heavy metal song of all time is one good reason why rock and rap should never cross paths. Limp Bizkit is a byproduct of what happens when the two genres do cross.

I like Busta Rhymes when he makes those goofy music videos, but throughout the entire song, he really needs to shut the hell up as he rambles on and on. It gets ridiculously bad when Busta butchers one of Iommi's solos around the 3:29 mark.

Thankfully, the rest of Sabbath had the decent courtesy of not getting involved this metal-rap debauchery.

Click here to hear the song



17. "Smells Like Teen Spirit" by Patti Smith
Originally performed by: Nirvana

I don't know much about Patti Smith's other cover songs, but I do know she was smoking some pretty heavy stuff to decide it would be a great idea to cover Nirvana's cash cow of a song. "Uninspiring" would actually be too nice of a word to describe Smith's attempt to channel that teenage angst Kurt Cobain and Dave Grohl was trying to warn us about. But when you got what sounds like the Lilith Fair traveling jug band playing a grunge song, the results are rather messy.

Click here to hear the song



16. "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band" - Peter Frampton & The Bee Gees
Originally performed by: The Beatles

Never mind the fact the goddamn Bee Gees covered The Beatles, the entire Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band is full of Beatles covers. However, it would take just about all the drugs in the world to at least understand what the hell is going on in this movie.

For you non-Beatles fans out there, back in 1970's RSO Records and Universal Pictures wanted to cash in on the Beatles' astronomical success, so they decided to produce a film solely based off of one of the Beatles' greatest albums, Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band. As it becomes quite apparent as you begin watching this film, it was all very well ill-conceived it how the movie was written. For starters, we had Steve Martin (yes, THAT Steve Martin) belting his rendition of "Maxwell's Silver Hammer" plus an old George Burns serenading us with some classic Beatles tunes.

It's this particular cover song by the Bee Gees that is the first song featured in the film and should be good enough to show you how horrifying the results can be when you got the Bee Gees paired together with Peter Frampton in impersonating the Beatles.

And you wonder why rock fans threw riots over disco music in the 1970's.

Click here to hear the song


15. "Jingle Bell Rock" by Jillian Hall
Originally performed by: Burt Ives

World Wrestling Entertainment owner Vince McMahon needs to learn that if you're going to release a Christmas album that's suppose to be a joke, make sure it's...you know...funny.

There's this woman wrestler in the WWE named Jillian Hall who's gimmick revolves around intentionally having a terrible singing voice and bugs the fuck outta everyone. While its just about enough to make her a "heel" or someone people boo at, I think WWE really elevated her status as the ultimate villain by releasing an iTunes-exclusive Christmas album featuring her butchering a couple of classic Christmas songs like "Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree" and "Deck the Halls". She literally destroys Burt Ives' "Jingle Bell Rock" with "comedic" singing that only 8 year old wrestling fans would find funny.

Again, while this was all intended to be for shits and giggles, you get mostly the "bad" corny and cheesy stuff which makes her songs more annoying than goofy. To top it all off, you'll definitely look like a massive tool if you bought her album off of iTunes, even if you were going to give it as a prank gift to someone else.




14. "You Give Love a Bad Name" by Atreyu
Originally performed by: Bon Jovi

I already can't stand Bon Jovi, so it probably doesn't matter who really covers this song. Somehow Atreyu made it more unlistenable.

Click here to hear the song


13. "My Generation" by Hillary Duff
Originally performed by: The Who

If the Disney tart is singing about "my generation", I sure as hell want no part of it.

To give Duff credit, The Who aren't that rebellious rock 'n rollers they were known as back in the 1960's and 1970's. Whatever shred of evidence that showed it was immediately destroyed during their appearance at the Super Bowl as the halftime show attraction. However, despite that, Duff's cover of "My Generation" is nothing more than a glorified Kidz Bop cover song.

Click here to hear the song


12. "Come With Me (Kashmir)" by Puff Daddy feat. Jimmy Page
Originally performed by: Led Zeppelin*

Technically, this isn't a cover song, but since P. Diddy wanted to "faithfully" recreate Zeppelin's "Kashmir" for the 1998 Godzilla soundtrack, it might as well be. The practice of using samples from other songs and rapping over it wasn't new at the time, but Puff Daddy/Puffy/Sean Combs/P. Diddy/Whatever the Fuck He Calls Himself Today somehow perfected it ever since he rose to fame following Biggie Smalls' death. Makes you wonder if Puffy murdered Notorious B.I.G. to elevate his rise to the #1 "Rapper Who Raps Over Other People's Music".

My guess to how P. Diddy was able to lure Led Zep guitarist Jimmy Page to take part of his fiasco was he promised him that 24-bottle case of Jack Daniels upon completion of appearance. It does beg the question though; which sucked more balls: the Godzilla movie or this "cover" song by Puff-a-Diddy?

Click here to hear the song


11. "Papa Don't Preach" by Kelly Osbourne
Originally performed by: Madonna

Kelly Osbourne is living proof that when Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne mix their genes together, disastrous results can happen. To be quite honest, whenever I see Kelly Osbourne, I see Ozzy dressed up in drag as a Suicide Girl. But even if the visual presentation wasn't bad, its the audio presentation that suffers the most. The best way to describe Kelly's rendition of Madonna's "Papa Don't Preach" is like scratching a rusty fork against a chalkboard.

Now hold your horses, Madonna also has a shitty cover song out there, which we will get to shortly.




10. "Rock On" by Smashing Pumpkins
Originally performed by: David Essex

It must have been a bad idea for Smashing Pumpkins frontman Billy Corgan to shave all his hair off because somehow toxic radiation went through his big ass skull and warped his brain. Not only do the Smashing Pumpkins rape David Essex's smash single, but Corgan's singing voice is on the same level of a whiny, emo prick you'd like to smash in his head with a sledgehammer.




9. "Another Brick in the Wall, Part 1 & 2" by KoRn
Originally performed by: Pink Floyd

Admit it -- most of us went through some sort of phase during our adolescent/preteen years we all regret. For some of us, there was the whole nu-metal craze of the late 90's to early 00's with kids getting all angsty and cranky listening to Marilyn Manson, KoRn, and Linkin Park. Shit, it was because of KoRn kids started tO tYpE LiKe ThIs. Thankfully, people grow up and realize they looked like special ed. students getting into KoRn. I can't say the same for the band since they insist to continue on when their remaining fanbase are actual special ed. students.

My original guess why KoRn decided they needed to cover Pink Floyd was they wanted to do a test to see if you truly did grow up or not. If you find KoRn's cover to be appalling and offensive, then congratulations, you've become a man (or are already one). If you have no problem at all with KoRn's cover, then sorry kid, get back to the kid's table.




8. "You Shook Me All Night Long" by Celine Dion
Originally performed by: AC/DC

So how the hell did this one happen? Was there in the water in Vegas that made Ms. Frenchie Canuck go cuckoo? I can understand hating on Brian Johnson-era AC/DC, but c'mon, this would be too cruel if Celine Dion deliberately did this cover song to get back at them. I guess it is true that French people have no sense from right and wrong.

Click here to hear the song


7. "I'll Melt With You" by Bowling For Soup
Originally performed by: The Smiths

OK kids, raise your hands if you like Bowling For Soup. No one? Good I tho...wait, you in the back. Eat shit and die.

I really don't see how anyone can stand that obnoxious singing voice coming from Douchey McDoucheystein. In all honesty, the only thing Bowling For Soup has got going for them throughout their whole entire music career is that fat ass bass player, who looks like he's ready to keel over any minute.

Click here to hear the song


6. "Sympathy For The Devil" by Ozzy Osbourne
Originally performed by: The Rolling Stones

I feel bad for Ozzy. It's pretty depressing for all the metal heads to see how you become the most influential singer in metal music to an absolute former shell of yourself. Hell, I think he's actually dead and Sharon is using him as a Muppet.

My guess on how Ozzy's Under Cover album came to be was from karaoke night at the Osbourne residence with vicodin and booze on the menu. This is the "pick of the litter" if you want the worst cover song Ozzy half-assed.





5. "Walk This Way" by Macy Gray
Originally performed by: Aerosmith

Remember when Macy Gray popped out of nowhere in the Spider-Man movie and started singing during the Thanksgiving Day parade? I wish one of the buildings actually did crumble down and crush her to death...in real life.

What? At least Macy Gray wouldn't have unleashed this god awful shit cover of Aerosmith's hit single. And YET, she somehow manages to make it 100x more unlistenable than the time Aerosmith teamed up with Run DMC and brutalized the song.






4. "American Pie" by Madonna
Originally performed by: Don McLean

As if we all needed yet another reason to hate the walking cesspool of sexually transmitted diseases known as Madonna, she certainly cemented her place as the first person I would like to see die a horrible, horrible death.

While I may not be too fond of McLean's original, this cover song shows why earplugs were invented for a good reason. Madonna's attempt to rekindle that flame from her glory days in the 80's is really a sad one as she's taken the same path as Cher by using a vodcoder to cover up the fact she can't sing for shit anymore. And don't get me started on the goofy as hell music video that came along with it. It's just her showing she hates Republicans.

If you ever wondered what was the day the music died, it wasn't when Buddy Holly, Ritchie Valens, and Big Bopper all died in a plane crash -- it was when Madonna made this song.






3. "I'm a Believer" by Smash Mouth
Originally performed by: The Monkees

Try to wrap your head around this one: it's Smash Mouth covering THE MONKEES. Steve Harwell and his band decided it would make perfect sense to cover a song from a band who's only reason it formed was record label executives who wanted to please ultra conservative parents who thought the Beatles were too offensive. Thanks to their decision (or probably they just needed the money seeing how their version of "I'm a Believer" appeared on the Shrek soundtrack), they have now obtained the title of the unofficial band for Wal-Mart. You'll definitely hear this song playing in the background whether you go to a laundromat, hair salon, your nephew's eighth birthday party, or a church bake sale.

It should be pointed out that Smash Mouth has put out other songs for soundtracks like the god awful Cat In The Hat movie and Zoom along with other non-offensive cover songs. I'm guessing Smash Mouth wanted to surpass The Monkees as being the world's biggest "pussy band".




2. "Behind Blue Eyes" by Limp Bizkit
Originally performed by: The Who

When I originally made up a similar "Worst Covers" list awhile back, I had Bizkit's universal travesty of a cover song as my number one pick. The reason being that I honestly thought this was the true nail in the coffin for Limp Bizkit as they wouldn't be heard of again....up until now.

Supposedly they're making a comeback these days by releasing a new album in the near future. On the other hand, they lined up a summer long arena tour that was ultimately canceled (figured they get the picture) The only way to best describe how atrocious this "Behind Blue Eyes" cover is...well, wrap tin foil around your dick and stick it in a wall socket. If you happen to survive the shock, then my friend, you just survived about 1 second of the song. Imagine how it will be like listening to it from beginning to end.



1. Every cover song done by Six Feet Under
Originally performed by: Various artists

It's not hard to fuck up one cover song, but to fuck up not one, not two, but three entire albums full of cover songs is an accomplishment that no other musician or band has managed to pull off. God bless Six Feet Under's Chris Barnes if he truly believes his cover albums are smash hits. You know how some of the smartasses out there say death metal vocals are done by the Cookie Monster? Barnes is the reason why they say that because he literally does sound like the Cookie Monster singing. As former lead vocalist for the well-known death metal band, Cannibal Corpse, he has become the ultimate parody for the entire heavy metal genre.

This sad tale begins right after Chris Barnes' departure from Cannibal Corpse and turns his side-project band, Six Feet Under, into a full time deal. From 1995 to 1999, Six Feet Under released a couple decent-at-best albums to some fanfare. However, when the turn of the new century took place, shit really hit the fan. I mean that the type of shit King Kong would take.



Graveyard Classics was released to an unsuspecting public on October 30, 2000. While this album would've gotten a free pass if it just stuck with the metal songs from bands like Angel Witch and Exodus, Barnes' extremely flawed wisdom decided to include cover songs from beloved rock bands like AC/DC, Jimi Hendrix, and Thin Lizzy. Taking one good listen to these covers, you would think that this would be one of the main influences for fictional metal band, Dethlok. I should remind you though....Six Feet Under is by all means taking themselves seriously in Graveyard Classics.






Six Feet Under somehow survived and were not laughed out of the metal community for good. I can't say the same for those who had the unfortunate of listening to Graveyard Classics. I'm pretty sure it was first met with laughter, then confusion, then tears, and then ultimately dementia. Just as listeners were recovering from the man-made disaster known as Graveyard Classics, Six Feet Under would strike again like a violent aftershock and made another Graveyard Classics album in 2004, but for this particular one, Barnes decided to cover AC/DC's Back In Black album.




I don't know what Brian Johnson and the rest of AC/DC did in their past lives to deserve such torturous treatment from musicians like Chris Barnes and Celine Dion, but they must have done something pretty damn evil to be getting this. Or perhaps the spirit of Bon Scott has come to haunt the surviving members of AC/DC by allowing Six Feet Under to use Back In Black for Graveyard Classics II. Well, whatever the case may be, Six Feet Under's tribute to AC/DC has made AC/DC fans all over the world vomit profusely upon listening to this mess. Once again folks, they were 100% serious in making their music.





With the release of two extraordinarily craptacular cover albums, Six Feet Under has achieved such music atrocity that hasn't been seen since Vanilla Ice. It's hard to believe when listening to the only 3 Six Feet Under fans in the world claim Graveyard Classics I & II were just really for shits and giggles and was meant to be a parody. Of course, they're just covering up for the absolute mess their favorite band left behind. Sorta like Mel Gibson coming out and saying the Holocaust was all just for fun and games.

Anyway, things seem to be quite for awhile between 2005 and 2009 when Six Feet Under returned to making decent to mediocre death metal albums. Unfortunately, Barnes thought the world needed another Six Feet Under covers album in 2010.



I'm at a loss for words on how this could of happen. Is Chris Barnes really a douchebag all along? Or is he beyond saving in helping him realize this is just plain bad?

If there's at least one thing positive to take out of all this, then congratulations guys, you really are the #1 Worst Covers Band of all time.

"Highly Appropiate" Songs To Use at Funerals

Every once and awhile, I see these Facebook polls pop up and ask, "What song will they play at your funeral?" My guess is that the traditional "Funeral March" anthem isn't too hip with the kids these days.

My beef with this entire poll is most people pick out sappy crap like "Knockin' On Heaven's Door" or some shit about angels. Hell, if you're a white trash skinhead, 9 times out of 10 you'll say "Cemetery Gates" to be your song.

Enough with this melancholy folks; it's time to lighten up funerals. If I was going to pick a song to be played at my funeral, I'd choose something that's not only entertaining, but serve as a reminder that death can be pretty damn funny too. Also, I'd definitely pick something that matches the cause of death.

Here are a couple of songs to use in certain scenarios which your loved ones won't find you to be a gigantic tool while in death.


1. "Under the Sea" - From the motion picture The Little Mermaid
Use for: Drowning



This one works well if you got kids. If you're the type of parent who always puts things lightly with your kids like using the "Birds 'n Bees" talk for sex, this one will work like a charm. Don't worry if your spouse has to explain to your kids that daddy lost his job, got shitfaced, and drove his car into the lake. She can tell them you're taking a indefinite vacation in the sea to hang out with Ariel, Flounder, and all the other lovable characters from Little Mermaid. You know what they say, "Let Disney do the sugarcoating for you."


2. "Rock 'n Roll McDonald's" - Wesley Willis
Use for: Health problems associated with obesity.



People will literally see it come a mile away. No one will be shocked to learn about your fatal heart attack because your fat ass goes to Arby's, KFC, Burger King, and Taco Bell on a daily basis. It's pretty much a given they'll be laughing at your lard ball carcass during the funeral, so why not laugh with them? "Rock 'n Roll McDonald's" sets the mood right as everyone will boogey down to the music and forget about that time you accidentally sat on and killed your grandma's poodle. Another good thing about "Rock 'n McDonald's" is that the late Wesley Willis reminds us about the fatty Big Macs and Quarter Pounders to serve as a warning for all you other obese people out there to stay away from the fast food joints.






3. "I Believe I Can Fly" - R. Kelly
Use for: Plane/helicopter crash



I've always been told that I should remain optimistic. Perhaps that drunken pilot can get us to our destination! Perhaps we can fly through that Category-5 hurricane! Perhaps we can fly that helicopter without a license! What's the point being all negative about flying when you can sit back, relax, and enjoy that nosedive 20,000 feet to the ground?


4. "Electric Boogie" - Marcia Griffiths
Use for: Struck by lightning, electrocution



This one applies a little bit more for lightning victims, but hey, let's throw in people killed by all types of electrocution as well.

Scientists say the odds of getting struck by lightning are about half a million-to-one. So basically, if you get killed during a lightning storm, you might consider you just won the lottery! Everyone celebrates when someone wins the lotto, so why let your family and friend party away at your funeral after you have struck it rich. Now let's do the Electric Slide!




5. "Pour Some Sugar On Me" - Def Leppard
Use for: Complications from diabetes



Diabetes sure suck. Go ask Wilford Brimley. No wonder he looks pissed off whenever he hawks insulin needles. You'd be sore too if you had to jab yourself every day with a pointy needle. So why not when the diabetes takes its toll and everyone's at your funeral, you show them what kind of torture you had to endure with diabetes. Well, I think "Pour Some Sugar On Me" is a crappy song. That should be torture enough for everyone else listening to it.




6. "Shake" - Sam Cooke
Use for: Parkinson's Disease/Shaken Baby Syndrome



There's actually two options you can use this classic Sam Cooke hit to be used at a funeral. First, if you happen to be on the same boat as Michael J. Fox and Muhammad Ali (and lord knows that boat be-a-rockin'), you shouldn't have to look at all that excessive shaking to be a negative. Michael J. Fox and television networks wants you to think you should be all mopey and emo that you caught Parkinson's and need to cough up money to them to find a cure for Parkinson's Disease. I say "screw that". There are plenty of things you can do with Parkinson's for your advantage. You can dominate the dance floor in dance competitions, be the world's best maraca player, make the best damn martinis, and so on. Let your friends and family at your funeral know Parkinson's wasn't a debilitating handicap that everyone else claims to be and spread the joy.

Meanwhile, 99.9% of the times a baby dies from shaken baby syndrome is usually the result of a babysitter trying to get the kid to shut up. The other .1% is Michael J. Fox holding a baby, so you're pretty much screwed from getting your ass hauled to jail. BUT WAIT! There is hope by using Sam Cooke's song as your alibi. Crank "Shake" up at the funeral and show that the song's pretty damn addicting and you can loose yourself to the music by grabbing a nearby infant and shaking it like a tambourine.




7. "That Smell" - Lynyrd Skynyrd
Use for: Carbon Monoxide Poisoning



It's not just the irony that is great, but this will especially work like a glove if you ever want to get back at your enemies who happen to ignore those fire safety classes at school. It wasn't your fault you forgot to buy yourself a carbon monoxide detector, but hopefully your bitter rivals will hear the tune during your funeral and presume its a warning that you gotta watch out for the smell in detecting CO2.

Sports Announcers That Need To "STFU"

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Top 10 Awful Cartoons of All-Time

Remember when waking up at the crack on dawn on Saturday was for a good purpose? Long ago, we had our Saturday morning cartoons that taught us sugar-coated morals and values. If you happen to be awake on Saturday morning these days and tune in to CBS, NBC, ABC, FOX, or any other broadcast station, you get nothing but boring news programs about putting hats on cats, regurgitated Disney shows like Hannah Montana and That's So Raven, and "its so cool, its actually lame" Kidz Newz. I guess awesome things are now made illegal for children.

In any case, from the 70's to 90's, it seemed like just about anyone or anything could have their own Saturday morning cartoon. However, that wasn't necessarily a good thing. There were cartoons where the subject matter was truly bizarre or that the purpose of the show really went over your head.

For my first, introductory list, I'll show you what I believe are the top ten cartoons that made you go, "What the fuck?"


1. The Gary Coleman Show (NBC, 1982-1983)




If you were born in the late 1970's or early 1980's, you definitely have seen Gary Coleman's mug all over the place. Thanks to his stardom on Diff'rent Strokes, Coleman raked it in big time and was making appearances left and right. So it was definitely logical for Coleman to get his own cartoon show in 1982; simply titled The Gary Coleman Show. Nothing out of the ordinary, right?

Well, by taking one good look at the show's plot, it feels like that time the myth has been debunked and you discovered Gary Coleman was really a 30-something year old black guy with a growth disorder. Man this show was awkward. Here we have Coleman playing the role of a guardian angel who helps children solve their problems and not get tricked by the devil who's called "Hornswaggle" (who eerily looks like a cross between a pimp and a child molester). I don't know a lot about Christian belief in regards to guardian angels, but there's just too many questions that come up if you were a kid like, "Is Gary Coleman really dead?" I think the most important question though is, "Do I really want Gary Coleman to be my guardian angel?" That's enough to make a person convert from Christianity to another religion for that very reason.




2. Captain N: The Game Master (NBC, 1989-1991)



For all my marketing people out there, you sure as hell know that a general rule of thumb in product placement is to use kids as your #1 target. But Nintendo took it a step further and made an entire Saturday morning cartoon one big product placement. Pretty much the sole reason Captain N: The Game Master existed is that Nintendo damn sure wanted all you kids out there buy a Nintendo Entertainment System and all the hottest NES games out there like Mega Man, Castlevania, and Tetris.

As a kid who ate, slept, and breathed video games, I made sure to tune in to Captain N every Saturday to see what radical adventures Captain N would be up to. However, as each episode went by, it became increasingly obvious the show's writers and animators never even picked up a video game controller in their lives. I knew Mega Man was blue, not green like he was in a show. Plus, I knew Simon Belmont was suppose to be a vampire-hunting bad ass like he was in Castlevania, not a flaming metrosexual who wore friggin' goggles. I guess you can't blame the writers if you got the vaguest of character descriptions from Nintendo and just ran with it. I think what really made the show suck is...well...it sucked.




3. The Partridge Family 2200 A.D. (CBS, 1974-1975)



It's a mixed bag for me when I think of William Hanna and Joseph Barbera. On one hand, they introduced one of the most memorable and beloved cartoon series of all time, The Flintstones, along with a long line of other great Hanna-Barbera cartoons. On the other hand, for most the 1970's and early 80's, it seems like Bill and Joe were on the "mary jane" and produced a crap load of cartoons that were really nuts (see: The Gary Coleman Show). Rather than making the entire list full of Hanna Barbera cartoons (maybe I'll save a "Top 10 Worst Hanna Barbera Cartoons List" for another day), I'll just cut to the chase and say The Partridge Family 2200 A.D. truly takes the cake.

Yes, you heard right. We're forced to believe that somehow record producers were able to create a serum to make the entire Partridge Family become ageless and continue to enslave the world with their singing in the year 2200. Hanna and Barbera sure seem to throw the whole "suspension of disbelief" out there with their cartoons. Interesting fact: Danny Bonaduce was a trooper and provided his voice for all 16 episodes. Too bad The Partridge Family 2200 A.D. probably accelerated the downward spiral for Bonaduce.




4. Rubix: The Amazing Cube (ABC, 1983-1984)



It's a cartoon about a Rubix's Cube folks; whoever decided that it was a good idea to make a show based off the world's most boring toy must have a sick sense of humor. Like I said, just about anything could get their own Saturday morning cartoon back in the day.

For reason, the cartoon went on to show that Hispanics alike loved playing with Rubix's Cubes because....well, I don't know. All I know is Spanish boy band Menudo are huge purveyors of Rubix's Cube.




5. The Get Along Gang (CBS, 1984)



These days, it's a certainly a ballsy move to have a cartoon featuring characters based from a line of greeting cards. While the American Greetings company had the right intentions in producing a Saturday morning cartoon - bunch of furry critters teaching moral standards that would make Mother Teresa blush - the one fatal flaw The Get Along Gang had with its show that it had too much of a Communistic overtone.

No, really, it's true. Don't be fooled by the cuteness of the talking furry animals discussing about sharing and cooperation. These are the type of critters your crazy Vietnam vet uncle would warn you about in taking over America. You see, if someone didn't get along in the gang...

OH SNAP SON, HOLD THE FUCK UP! STOP EVERYTHING!!! WE GOT SOMEONE WHO'S NOT WITH US!!!! SET THE INDEPENDENT THOUGHT ALARM!!!!!!

See what I mean? The Get Along Gang was quite anal if someone in the gang leered away from course. Montgomery "Good News" Moose? More like Montgomery "CHAIRMAN" Moose.

6. Gilligan's Planet - (CBS, 1982)


I'm sure the producers must've thought for this one, "By god! If the Partridge Family can go sci-fi, so can Gilligan!" Gilligan's Island is your classic case of beating the dead horse in television history. Having the Harlem Globetrotters visit the island wasn't enough, so it was time for Gilligan and the gang to travel in space in animated form. The biggest problem with Gilligan's Planet was this one aired in 1982 and most kids by then either A.) have no clue what Gilligan's Island was or B.) thought it royally sucked. Hell, I mean why would kids even bother with Gilligan's Island anymore when stuff like Transformers and G.I. Joe were beginning to plant their seeds?

It should be pointed out that there was another animated Gilligan's Island show before this, but at least it didn't piss off kids watching this.




7. Hammerman (ABC, 1991)




Stanley Burrell a.k.a. M.C. Hammer will forever always be the definition for "15 Minutes of Fame". After hitting it big time with his little-diddy, "U Can't Touch This", Hammer did what every artist does when they reached stardom; spend money like it was no tomorrow. Race horses, mansions, hot tubs, you name it. One of his endeavors was producing a Saturday morning cartoon featuring none other than himself. Just like Gary Coleman, it made sense for someone who reached fame of titantic proportions to get his own cartoon, but the show's plot was plain bad. Take this synopsis pulled from Wikipedia:

Youth center worker Stanley Burrell (Hammer's real name) owns a pair of magical dancing shoes (which are alive and can speak), which when worn cause Burrell to transform into the superhero Hammerman. He frequently gets advice from his "Gramps", who was a former owner of the shoes and was known as Soulman. While in the guise of Hammerman, Burrell was dressed in MC Hammer's signature purple parachute pants and myriad golden chains.

The show was hosted by the real MC Hammer, who also sang the show's theme song, telling about the origin of Hammerman. Back in the 1960s and 1970s, Gramps (real name unrevealed) was the superhero Soulman, but as he grew older, he grew weaker and was forced to retire. Gramps and his granddaughter Jodie traveled to find the next new superhero. Their search was over when they met Stanley and he put on the shoes.

I think somewhere between the talking shoes and his transformation as Hammerman is when it became very clear Mr. Hammer needed to hire an accountant badly as he would lose his fortune at an alarming rate and the cartoon would be yanked off the air just like his "15 Minutes of Fame".




8. The Fantastic Four (NBC, 1978-1979)



Imagine to the dismay of all the young comic books when they tuned in to the first episode of The Fantastic Four cartoon in Fall of 1978 and saw The Human Torch nowhere in sight. Now add to the fact the coolest member of the Fab Four was replaced by a bastard retard robot (and is even considered an official member!) How Marvel Comics didn't save itself the trouble and pull the plug before this got to air is beyond me, but it goes to show that all it takes is one shitty character to bring down an entire show.

Is this the worst comic book cartoon ever? Hey, does a bear take a shit in the woods?





9. Yo! Yogi!! (NBC 1991-1992)



I'm all for classic characters getting with the times, but man, this one screams bloody murder with how the fashion and style were in the early 90's. I don't know if people in the future will look back to this generation and scoff at us, but Yo! Yogi!! went too overboard with the hippety and the hoppity of the glory known as early 1990's cheesiness. Hey, don't blame Hanna Barbera; it's pretty easy to get caught up with the GNARLY MAX-OUT RADICAL ZAP-A-DAP freshness of the mall.




10. Laverne & Shirley in the Army (ABC 1981)



I know Laverne & Shirley had its fair share of fans during its run, but was this really necessary? Did kids even like Laverne & Shirley at all??? There must've been a damn good reason why this was ever made, but I guess this show along with Gilligan's Planet was proof parents didn't pay attention to the kids in the early 80's and had no clue what they like.




Well there you have it, hope you liked my first stab in making a list. I'm hoping to make this a weekly update. Any criticism and suggestion is much appreciated. Danke!